hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
