my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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