He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
