she takes plan B like it's going out of style
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize