haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
