2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
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