on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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