I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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