y did u give ur computer a hand job?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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