Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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