Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
