Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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