So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
