I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
