I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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