i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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