Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
