Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Fuck appropriateness.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
