i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
