I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
