god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She's the barista slut.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
