I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
