i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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