yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize