i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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