But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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