The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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