is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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