I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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