I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
