He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i think i have herpe
just one?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
