So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
