My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
