Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
is wine microwaveable?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
