No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
