White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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