cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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