I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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