please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
