Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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