Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
