Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
As shirtless as possible
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
