i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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