which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
