your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
