VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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