I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
