if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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