He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
