dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
