Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
