U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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