got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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