Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
