Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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