I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
