I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i think i just lost a toe
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
